Unseen Grace

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That's my story

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A long time ago–even before time
when there was no time but now,
silence got stirred, set into motion
like waves on an ocean somehow.

I guess a restlessness to know
just who I am began to grow.

And so I called out:
‘Can anyone hear me?
Is anyone near me out there?’

But no one replied–
and I felt frightened.
I think it was right then and there
that I created time and space
to hold a mirror to my face.

That’s my story of creation
That’s how worlds are born,
how from naught,
a thought becomes a form.

I had to pretend
that Oneness could shatter
then down into matter I came.
And ten thousand forms
burst into being–
no two exactly the same…
but for as far as I could see,
nothing but images of me.

And for a while,
I found it all thrilling,
but then the game went awry
Parts of my Self fell into grieving
and started believing the lie,
and feeling lost began to roam
And so it’s time to call them home.

That’s my tale of separation–
call it what you will.
This I sing for those
who wander still.

That’s my story of creation
That’s how worlds are born,
how from naught,
a thought becomes a form.

A long time ago–even before time
when there was no time but now,
silence got stirred, set into motion
like waves on an ocean somehow.

Right here, right now

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Sometimes we claim to seek God,
but cling to a concept of grace
so rigidly that we fail to see
what’s staring us right in the face.

Sometimes we pray with our mouth.
I say pray with your ears
and unclench that fist
with your shopping list
And see what’s here–
what’s already here.

Right here,
in the middle of your lap
wrapped without ribbons and bows.
It may not be
what you thought you’d see,
but do you suppose…
if you look a little closer…?
mmmhhhmmmh

Some people hunger for love,
but the kind of love they can control.
Well, we all want the kiss,
not the vast abyss.
Ah, but love wants
to swallow us whole.

If love is truly your goal,
why would you settle for part?
If you can bear the pain
of love’s terrain
she’ll take you straight to her heart.

Right here, where you already are
with your hurt or your hope
or your fear,
or your broken dream,
as strange as it may seem–
even here,
love will find you here.

Here now,
where you never thought to look
wrapped without ribbons or bows.
It may not be
what you thought you’d see
(It rarely is you know)

What if you open up what is–
this gift your Beloved chose.
It may not look
like the picture in your book,
but do you suppose
if you peek inside….
you might be surprised….?

Church of the Pines

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I bow my head
with love and awe today
for the Maker
and this mandala at play–
the colored sand,
the sleight of hand
that shapes,
then wipes it all away.

I bow to the sky,
seamless and blue,
the mystical sunlight
filtering through
my church in the pines
here by this creek
with rocks that can sing
and devas that speak
a secret language beyond sound
in praise of hallowed ground.

Gloria …………
in Excelsis Deo.

I bow my head with gratitude today
for everything that did
and didn’t come my way.
The hidden cost
of all I’ve lost,
and all I’ve gained, I gladly pay.

Here’s to this life,
eyes that can see,
a heart that can feel this reverie,
that can be slain by beauty or pain,
humbled and pummeled
like a stone by unknown streams,
tumbled and washed clean.

Gloria……..
in excelsis Deo.

Wasn’t I
the one who told you:
You can shake me
if you need to?

Today I praise the play
that I once panned,
this vast conspiracy
to force my hand,
the poker face of unseen grace
that leaves my mind
no place to land…

But here in my heart–
here I allow
the wafer and wine
of what is right now.
And I join the choir,
this baptismal creek
of rocks that can sing
and devas that speak
a secret language beyond sound
in praise of hallowed ground.

Gloria…………
in excelsis Deo

Gloria, Gloria, Gloria, Gloria

I said that I would sing

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I first heard about this place,
this little lump of clay
on a message board in space,
about a billion stars away.

The ad read:
‘Floating garden orb circling a sun.
Help us build a heaven here. 
We need one more volunteer’.
So I said that I would come.

I was asked when I applied
to name some service I could bring.
I think service should be joyous,
so I said that I would sing.

Well, I guess I got the job. 
And I don’t mean to complain.
But it’s not like they described
in that little classified
that I read before I came.

Had I somehow missed a turn?
Was this even the right place?
Had I fallen for a scam–
or was it more a fall from grace?

Oh, it’s beautiful alright–
how I love the desert sky.
And a quiet mountain lake
is enough to make me cry.
But I did not come prepared
for the density or strife,
for the cruel and inhumane
injustices and pain
that can pass here for a life.

So from a very early age,
I grew restless here because
of this longing to go home,
though I could not say
where home was.

Then in answer to my prayer
or more truthfully my scream,
my beloved self appeared,
come to wake me from this dream.

And with a diamond voice declared:
“Home is not some distant star,
or some heavenly reward
that your days are marching toward
but the truth of who you are–

An awareness so immense
it holds all of this inside…”
As she spoke my mind fell still
but my tears would not subside.

And from the arms of grace, I knew
that all suffering would cease
if we could yield to this embrace,
if we just trusted in this peace.

To even try to find the words
can be a sacrilegious thing:
So I’d just as soon be silent–

….but I said that I would sing.

Purnamadah Purnamidam

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Kali Durge namo namah
Kali Durge namo namah
Chitti Kundalini namo namah
Chitti Kundalini namo namah
Kali Durge namo namah

I knelt on a precipice
watching the moonrise
and felt a chill of truth
go through me.
No matter how far I fall,
I’m still in the lap of God;
Only God is coming to me.

And it’s all right–
even in my soul’s dark night.
It’s all right–
I know I’ll find my way
And some day,
I’ll look back on this and say
It was just a dream I had.

Though there are things I’d change
if I could go back in time–
hearts I’d touch
and doors I’d open,
it’s every choice I made
that led me to this place–
the twisted path,
the words unspoken.

But it’s all right–
neither black, nor white.
It’s all right. 
You do the best you can
and let it go.
It’s comforting to know
everything goes back to light.

One light calling–in you, in me.
I am only following
as best I can
from where I am,
the light I see.

Imagine a billion worlds,
born of the one light
each with galaxies in motion–
souls that are surging forth,
souls that are merging back
like rivers to the ocean…

And it’s all right–
birth and death and life.
It’s all right–
we just go on and on, 
on and on.
Purnamadah, purnamidam.
Everything goes back to light.

One light calling  
Ekam, vimalam, achalam  
We are only following….

And So

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I wouldn’t underestimate the power
of a tiny, tender impulse
from the heart.
An impulse that’s that small
can rock and soothe us all,
or tear our safe, complacent lives apart.

But I’ve learned to trust
those tiny, tender waves,
despite my fear or habits of defense,
though they lead me, in some cases,
to unexpected places
that at the time,
frankly make no sense...

Like now….
but I’m following through
with this song that wants to come
and give itself to you.

I can’t say that I know
where this dance leads
or why I tug your sleeve
when you let go
or where to put my feet,
but the invitation’s sweet.
And anyway,
I’m willing not to know

Clearly we can’t trust
the world of form
to guard our hearts
or nurture every dream
But we can still trust this,
this flow of grace, this kiss
that moves through us
like currents through a stream.

And so…. I go out on a limb
like a mourning dove at dusk
offering her hymn.

It’s delicate–and dangerous
and beautiful, so beautiful–
and tenuous…

This quivering that’s calling
from within,
but my loyalty is not to me or you,
so my ear is to the ground,
absorbing every sound
between our hearts.
I hope you’re listening too.

Sake of the Self

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Yes, the Self is all that is,
but in this dream of consciousness,
some reflections
still stand out from the rest–
and shake the mirror
when they appear,
leave a mark in your chest.

So yes, I love you,
but you don’t need to
be concerned unnecessarily.
I’m well aware
this love affair
is just between my Self and me.

And that it’s not for the sake
of a lover that a lover is dear. 
And it’s not for the sake
of a friend, that a friend is dear.
It’s for the sake of the Self.

I would have shared this with you
long ago
but you left too soon.
And all my gestures
seemed to aggravate
some ancient wound.

So forgive my imperfections,
attachment, and projections.
Love is all I wanted to impart.
And it’s ok
if you walk away.
See if you can leave my heart.

It’s not for the sake of a lover
that a lover is dear. 
And it’s not for the sake
of a friend, that a friend is dear.
It’s for the sake of the Self.

Om Shanti

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Beloved Source, sacred fire
that indwells my heart,
hear this prayer, this desire
that I take my part–
that suffering may cease,
all beings live in peace

Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti

Let this world be my mirror,
give me eyes to see
that what I judge, shun, or fear
may be met in me.
If I turn the outside in,
healing may begin.

Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti

Send the rain, send the sun
that I need to bloom.
Burn my barns–every one–
if they block the moon
or obfuscate the sight
of your ever-present light.

Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti

Beloved Force
that gives me breath,
that pumps my blood,
that spins these stars,
that dreams this dream,
that sings this love,
may thy will be done–
may thine and mine be one.

Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti
Om shanti shanti

I Invite Love Here (A Ho'Oponopono Prayer)

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Forgive me, I’m sorry.
I love you.
Thank you for what you reveal–
the part of this I share –
the false belief I bear
the memory,
the wound that wants to heal…

Forgive me, I’m sorry.
I love you.
Thank you for showing your face.
By challenging my peace,
you help me to release 
this notion that I’m
separate from Grace.

Knowing peace begins with me,
I stand before your mirror.
And bowing to my Self in you,
I invite Love,
I invite Love here.

Forgive me, I’m sorry.
I love you.
Thank you for helping me see
the part of this I share –
I know there’s no “out there,”
so I can clear the dissonance
in me.               

Forgive me, I’m sorry.
I love you.
Forgive all my ancestors too.
However this began,
forgive us if you can.
Forgive us for
we know not what we do.

Knowing peace begins with me,
I stand before your mirror.
And bowing to my Self in you,
I invite Love,
I invite Love here.

Already Home, Already Free

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Nothing to seek.
Nothing to gain.
Nothing to know.

Nothing to lose.
Nothing to do,
but let go.

Let’s rest here
where the future
and the past disappear…
Here–
in the sanctity of Now.

Nothing to prove.
Nothing to own.
No one to be.

Nowhere to move.
Already home.
Already Free.

Let’s just stay
in the cave of the heart today
and bask
in this ever-present love.

Nothing to fix.
Nothing to change.
Nothing to fight.

Only what is.
What if what is
is just right.

Why not trust
this Mystery living us
and rest
in the refuge of the Self.

Nothing to judge.
No one to blame or fear.
Only my face
greeting me in the mirror.

Nowhere to turn.
Nowhere to hide.
Nobody else.

Nothing outside
that isn’t inside
myself.

Let’s just see,
Is anyone here but me? –
Here–
in the present moment now.

Nothing to know.
Nothing to do.
No one to be.

Nowhere to go.
Already home.
Already free.

Nowhere to go.
Already home.
Already free.

Nowhere to go.
Already home.
Already free.

Flow of Grace

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Feelings, states of consciousness
and circumstances change.
Everything that comes to be
will go and leave no trace.
All things shall pass–
all things, alas,
but this
unbroken flow of grace.

May this flow forever be
like a river from the sea.
May I not try to own or reject it,
postpone or redirect it–
but just let it be.

As every actor on my stage
parades before me now,
wearing masks and bearing gifts,
I can’t help thinking of
the Face behind the mirror,
the one who sent them here
in this
unbroken flow of love.

May this flow forever be
with no interference from me.
May I not try
to move or prevent it,
improve or circumvent it,
but just let it be

As it was in the beginning,
is now and ever shall be -
world without end.
As it was in the beginning,
is now and ever shall be.
Amen.

This dream of consciousness
can seem to wield such force,
but the River Ganga
is never far behind,
nourishing the thirsty
as she winds along her course,
then ravages
whole villages of mind.

May her Grace forever flow
every place she needs to go.
May I not try
to tame or suppress her,
disclaim or second guess her.

And may I be blessed to see–
forever see–
she is not separate,
she is not separate
from me.

Amen

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As it was in the beginning,
is now and ever shall be -
world without end.
As it was in the beginning,
is now and ever shall be.
Amen.