The poems, the letters I send,
Do you even read them
Do they sink softly into your heart,
Or sail past like a packet of seeds in the wind
I can never see…where do they go?
Oh, it scares me sometimes when I see my reflection
In your silence, I recognize my own
All the times I pretend not hear any question
Or I turn from a truth that I don’t want shown.
And I think of the calls that I never answered
When my soul said to speak but I made no sound
And I feel the defeat of a hand never taken
Like a thought that comes up but goes back down.
You become a one-way mirror
You become some kind of friend
Because I know this black hole I fall through
Will open up to a new universe
at the other end,
If I can transcend, if I can let go
So I hang on for life and I live with the longing
Of a love that’s struggling to be
Through the hurt and the hate
and the need for bonding
But maybe what I’m looking for is me.
When I call out a name in the dark
It’s your name,
But maybe what I’m looking for is me.