I Said That I Would Sing

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I Said That I Would Sing

I first heard about this place,
this little lump of clay
on a message board in space,
about a billion stars away.

The ad read:
‘Floating garden orb circling a sun.
Help us build a heaven here. 
We need one more volunteer’.
So I said that I would come.

I was asked when I applied
to name some service I could bring.
I think service should be joyous,
so I said that I would sing.

Well, I guess I got the job. 
And I don’t mean to complain.
But it’s not like they described
in that little classified
that I read before I came.

Had I somehow missed a turn?
Was this even the right place?
Had I fallen for a scam–
or was it more a fall from grace?

Oh, it’s beautiful alright–
how I love the desert sky.
And a quiet mountain lake
is enough to make me cry.
But I did not come prepared
for the density or strife,
for the cruel and inhumane
injustices and pain
that can pass here for a life.

So from a very early age,
I grew restless here because
of this longing to go home,
though I could not say
where home was.

Then in answer to my prayer
or more truthfully my scream,
my beloved self appeared,
come to wake me from this dream.

And with a diamond voice declared:
“Home is not some distant star,
or some heavenly reward
that your days are marching toward
but the truth of who you are–

An awareness so immense
it holds all of this inside…”
As she spoke my mind fell still
but my tears would not subside.

And from the arms of grace, I knew
that all suffering would cease
if we could yield to this embrace,
if we just trusted in this peace.

To even try to find the words
can be a sacrilegious thing:
So I’d just as soon be silent–

….but I said that I would sing.